Emily TalasFollow
3 min read
·
Nov 5, 2024
I was recently asked to rank myself based on the statement, “I am an overall happy person.” Without thinking twice, I pressed “strongly agree.”
I am, indeed, an overall happy person. I get excited over little things. I’m passionate. I crave love, laughter, and deep connections. But happiness hasn’t always come easy to me.
At 14, I couldn’t imagine myself living past 24. But I’m 24 now, and I am so happy. I am so, so, so happy. And that is one of my greatest achievements in life.
Happiness, for me, isn’t just one feeling. It’s understanding that emotions fluctuate and finding beauty in that. It’s the luxury of emotional regulation, of understanding and appreciating the ebbs and flows of life. It’s going to bed feeling at peace, knowing you have the tools, the support system, and the confidence to handle whatever comes your way. It’s romanticizing your life, and I mean hardcore romanticizing. Appreciating every small moment, feeling, gesture, and person who enters it. It’s realizing that the purpose of your life is the one you create every single day.
Life is fucking hard. During the happiest era of my life, I’ve also endured grief, heartbreak, rejection — you name it. I’ve experienced some of my darkest and most painful moments. Moments so heavy, so hopeless, they made me believe there was no way out. But I came out of them, and I came out stronger. I now understand that some of the most pivotal moments of self-discovery don’t happen when you’re just happy. They happen when you experience both pangs of ache and moments of absolute joy — and that in itself makes me happy.
How lucky are we to have the ability to feel? To miss something or someone so much that it makes you cry? Or to love something or someone so deeply that it makes you cry? How lucky is that? I know that at 14, the only thing I ever wanted was the ability to feel. And now, I do. I feel.
“If you’re so smart, why aren’t you happy?” Happiness isn’t a final destination, and it certainly isn’t a collection of achievements. I wrote about the concept of chasing happiness two years ago here, and my perspective hasn’t changed, only expanded as I’ve built my life post-grad. Happiness isn’t something you achieve, it’s something you self-teach. It’s a form of acceptance. It’s a practice.
Every memoir I’ve read has the same message from those reflecting at their deathbeds: it never mentions accolades. Instead, it’s about wishing they’d spent more time with loved ones, lived more authentically, and done things they truly liked doing. The key isn’t to drop everything you’ve worked for and chase a life free from pain or worry. The point is to make your life meaningful by weaving happiness into everything you do, the work you take on, the people you meet, and the life you live day-to-day. It’s understanding that a big promotion is great, but it will only be an add-on to the happiness you’ve already cultivated in your daily life.
Work brings happiness because it fuels your sense of purpose. The barista whose shirt you complimented this morning brings happiness because they, too, fuel your sense of purpose. You are in control of this feeling, no one else.
I still struggle with anxiety, sadness, jealousy — all the negative things. Some days are harder than others. But I am happy. I am happy because I choose to find inspiration, even in the dark moments. I am happy because I have the ability to feel, to care so deeply, to want to be the best version of myself, to be there for my loved ones, and to build the life I once dreamed of. I am happy because I choose to be. I choose to find purpose every day. I don’t wait for the perfect moment to be happy, I just am because I have the privilege of being right here, right now.
I am happy. And I will continue to be happy.
Sending love always,
Em xoxo